the number one album in america

Dan: what would you grade this album on the christgau scale

Theon: "indie’s poster puppy teaches himself tricks of math, atmosphere *** ('Cath...')"

Dan: LOL at just one song pick

* * * * *

Dan: "Indie's longest-aggravating modest mouse continues struggling to find the words for the Perfect Final Frame, only it's no longer cute, so for once he takes his frustration out on his axe. "You've got to spend some time," he gruffs on the eight-minute one. The rest of the band makes like Wilco-with-water-wings: Nick Harmer discovers he's playing a rhythm instrument, for instance. And together, they almost make you believe that Ben Gibbard really did lose his twin-size bed. B+"

Theon: is this you

Dan: yes

Theon: well that only took forever

Dan: but i take it as a serious compliment that you asked

Theon: lol “gruffs”
that’s an xgau word

Dan: i'm not satisfied with the ending
i was trying different phrases
"lose it to the girl"
is that what happened

Theon: no
he broke up
so he threw out his old big bed for sex having
and got a new small one

Dan: but why the "you looked so defeated in your new twin sized bed"
he makes it sound like divorce collateral

Theon: because the song is in the second person
like the character is You

Dan: OHHHHH
holy fucking shit
i'm so used to this prick speaking in the first person

* * * * *

Dan: "Indie's longest-aggravating modest mouse continues struggling to find the words for the Perfect Final Frame, only it's no longer cute, so for once he takes his frustration out on his axe. "You've got to spend some time," he gruffs on the eight-minute one. The rest of the band makes like Wilco-with-water-wings: Nick Harmer discovers he's playing a rhythm instrument, for instance. And in this near synergy, they half-convince me that Ben Gibbard really replaced the bed he used to fuck her on. B+"

Theon: there we go

* * * * *

Dan: this might ruin your career forever but you and i should start a blog where we do these xgau impressions

Theon: all your blog ideas involving me are not good